So today was my third full day in the fourth grade classroom. These 30 children are precious, sassy, caring, hurting, a handful and in need of some serious love. I am so blessed to have this opportunity to pour out the love God has given me. But I will be honest and say it is quite overwhelming.
I wake up at 6am to be at the school at 7:15am where I spend the next seven and a half hours teaching, grading, loving, and disciplining. I get home around 3:15pm and barely have time to relax before I have to start thinking about all the homework I have to do for the 12 hours of class I have over the next two days. And suddenly I feel like I’m drowning.
I also feel like my days have started to be filled with me comparing myself to others. Am I doing a good of a job as a student teacher as so and so? Am I doing as good of work in class as her? Would my friends rather hang out with her than with me? Am I as pretty as her? As fun to be with as her? And suddenly I am making myself miserable and getting frustrated with how much time I am spending thinking about myself.
And God’s still small voice through all of it is telling me I am enough. That I can reach to these children. That I am valued, not only by Him but by my friends. Just because I’m not exactly like someone else doesn’t mean I am worse than they are. God made me uniquely wonderful, and my uniqueness will bring Him glory in a way only I can.
So I just have to come home, take a little break to cry, embrace the fact that I am adjusting to this new schedule, and get back to work. The Lord will be holding my hand through it all.
